Building self esteem is no different than a contractor building a structure. If the foundation is strong, the building won't fall down. But if the contractor skimps on this part of the process or uses the wrong materials, the building will never last.
Your own self esteem is your foundation. It is the product of many years of both positive and negative words and events in your life that you felt deeply and, more importantly, that you recorded in your mind.
It isn't easy to "undo" the parts of your self image that you view as negative. It's taken more than a day for you to get to where you are, and it will take more than a day to make a change.
But the good news is that it can be done! Here are four things you can start doing right now that will change things for the better.
1. Refuse to let other people fill your mind with nothing but negative stuff. If you're in relationship with people who do nothing but tear others down, it's time to find some new friends. Unfortunately, the old saying, "birds of a feather flock together" definitely applies in this situation. You tend to become like those you associate with.
2. Eliminate all the negative stuff you say to yourself every single day. You certainly shouldn't accept negative stuff from other people, so why should you accept it from yourself? Because your mind accepts everything you say as "truth", it is your brain's job to do everything it can to make sure that reality comes true.
3. Make it a point to look for the positive in every situation. You can't control everything in your life, but you can control how you respond to it. Every time you respond positively, you contribute to building someone else's self esteem, and that can only help build your own as well.
4. Don't ever tear down someone else's self esteem. It is possible to confront people without tearing them down personally. It isn't necessary to judge, criticize, or berate someone if a mistake is made. Just as you are guarding your own self image from negative stuff, make sure you're not responsible for spewing any yourself.
It is especially important to teach your kids about these steps. We all learn starting at birth, and the sooner your kids start thinking right, the sooner they'll act right. Make it their responsibility to make other kids feel good about themselves and tell them they need to be the example of right behavior. What a concept....kids teaching other kids to feel good about themselves.
Chew Your Cabbage Twice
Have you noticed how often speakers and lecturers say, "I'm
going to repeat that" or "I'll say that again" or "That's right
… repeat …" ?
You've thought, "Gee, she sure likes to repeat herself." or,
"Yea, I get it. That's the third time."
Accidental?
Not really!
You see folks, speakers, teachers and trainers know how
human memory retention works: repetition is a valuable tool.
"Repetition is the mother of learning"
Again: "Repetition is the mother of learning."
One more time, "Repetition is the mother of learning."
Children learn through repetition and adult learning is no different.
Statistics prove, when you've heard something three times or
more you'll remember 80 to 85 %.
That's right friend, you'll likely remember 80 to 85 % of what
you've heard three times or more!
That compares with less than 20 % of what you've heard only
once.
And, if you see it in writing (on a slide for example)
and write it down (take notes),
you'll retain it for a much longer time.
So to repeat; if you hear something three times, write it down and
review your notes, chances are
"You've got it".
Long term.
It's yours!
Valuable?
Not really.
Unless:
You want to experience an incredible memory improvement!
You want to remember more of what you hear at a seminar.
You want people to remember more of what you say to them.
You just want to be more effective in what you do and how you
interrelate with others.
You just want to feel good about yourself.
And about what you do.
And about how much impact you have on other people's lives.
Now you've got it!.
Repetition can help you to have a greater impact on the lives of
people you interact with!
Len McNally
GRATITUDE
I am extremely grateful for being born in a free country. I get to vote for the person I wish to have as my government representative. Nobody dictates to me what I have to think or do. I choose the work I wish to perform. I have sufficient food to eat and safe water to drink. I get to walk down the street without fear of stepping on a landmine. I have a home of my own that keeps me warm in winter and cool in summer. If I want to engage in sporting activities they are available for me. If I pay my bills on time I have satellite television, Internet and phone service. I can pursue the religion of my choice. I can live anywhere in the country I choose and know that I have medical coverage.
If I choose to, I can complain about the weather, the condition of the streets, the politicians and anything I feel vocal about and no one will arrest me or put me in jail. If things do not go well for me, there is social assistance and in my old age there is social security.
With all of the things to be grateful for, I cannot understand why anyone in a free country like mine would give up their dreams and settle for anything less than a perfect life. When you start out with such an advantage, how can you fail? Actually, it is quite easy, all you have to do is get your thought processes mixed up. You are what you think. If you think you can, you are right. If you think you can't, you are right.
If your life does not contain everything you want it to, then examine your thoughts. Are you focussed on the things you want, or are you focussed on the things you don't want. If you focus on what you don't want, your thoughts become so obsessed with what you are focussed on that they cause it to happen. You must stop thinking about what you don't want and focus on what you do want. Always keep your thoughts positive and focussed on your dreams and goals. It has been scientifically proven that if you set a goal, become very passionate about reaching the goal and constantly think about it, that your mind will come up with a way to reach that goal.
Be grateful for what you have as it will improve your disposition, which will impact your thoughts. It is impossible to be grateful for what you have and pessimistic at the same time. So, any time you start losing your positive thoughts, think about things you are grateful for and you will get your positive attitude back.
The world needs you to be the best that you possibly can. You have a greatness inside of you that must be unleashed for the betterment of mankind. The world needs to be grateful to you!
